Surviving Infedelity by Rediscovering Your Marriage

One of the first steps to surviving infedelity is understanding why a person would cheat. There are any number of reasons why a spouse chooses to be unfaithful... but the most common reason is simple that he or she is bored with the marriage. It's usually not about one spouse hating the other - often, it's quite the contrary. Most partners who cheat really do love their spouses... but something inside them is simply yearning for that "spark".

Remember how it was when you and your partner first met? Nearly every relationship goes through that sappy lovestruck phase... all you could think about was your partner, and every time you had to part for a few hours, you couldn't wait to be back together again.

Back then, your spouse felt desired. Everything was special and new.

As relationships continue, though, they often stagnate. Wonder and romance give way to routines and chores. The relationship loses its luster, and eventually, boredom sets in.

This usually affects one partner more than the other. Often, one partner finds the routine comforting, while the other feels stifled. Unfortunately, in some cases, this leads the bored spouse to seek excitement elsewhere... while still enjoying the benefits of marriage.

One of the keys to surviving infedelity and getting your relationship back on track is to continually rediscover your marriage. Line up a babysitter for the evening, and go out and try something you've never done before. It doesn't have to be anything big - it doesn't take a Mediterranean cruise to revitalize your marriage. Even just doing something like playing miniature golf together, or skipping stones on a pond, or going for a drive with no destination in mind can do wonders.

For many couples, the more spontaneous the activity, the better. As we settle into marriage and deal with jobs, children, and chores, things tend to become scheduled and routine. Doing something spontaneous shakes things up and helps you and your spouse rediscover the spark that you had when you first met.

Sure, there will always be routine in marriage - no couple can sustain that lovestruck honeymoon phase every single day - but making time for those special, silly, wonderous moments will help with surviving infedelity, and will bring you closer than ever... and there won't ever be any reason for cheating again.